Who controls the past controls the future. Who controls the present controls the gift wrap.
Many hands make light work unless you're a manicurist.
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and you're a lousy waiter.
Blood is thicker than water and tastier with lemonade.
A cat has nine lives and we have to test eight microwaves.
A penny saved is a penny you're going to lose in the sofa cushions.
Life is like riding a bicycle; you'll probably get hit by a bus.
October 20, 2009
September 16, 2009
In the News
Jay Leno's new prime-time chat and comedy TV show lost more than 7 million viewers on its second night. Speculation is that many of those viewers were reacting to a Pavlovian instinct to turn off their televisions and go to sleep at the sight of Leno.
Dancing With the Stars will pay tribute to Patrick Swayze with a show dedicated to his unforgettable performances. Oddly enough rather than focusing on Dirty Dancing the show will feature a musical recreation of Red Dawn; where Soviet tanks are destroyed by the power of awful reality shows.
Two movie-star monkeys and crew members of the Adam Sandler film The Zookeeper are among the 300 guests who were evacuated from a Boston hotel after reports of a foul odor. Guests were allowed to return to the hotel after determining the smell was not harmful and was coming from the movie’s script.
Three animal rights activists dressed as seals and blocked traffic in front of the Canadian embassy in Washington. The three PETA members were arrested for impersonating semi-aquatic marine mammals and for failure to balance a ball on their noses. When reached for comment the three protesters responded “Arf arf arf!”
Dancing With the Stars will pay tribute to Patrick Swayze with a show dedicated to his unforgettable performances. Oddly enough rather than focusing on Dirty Dancing the show will feature a musical recreation of Red Dawn; where Soviet tanks are destroyed by the power of awful reality shows.
Two movie-star monkeys and crew members of the Adam Sandler film The Zookeeper are among the 300 guests who were evacuated from a Boston hotel after reports of a foul odor. Guests were allowed to return to the hotel after determining the smell was not harmful and was coming from the movie’s script.
Three animal rights activists dressed as seals and blocked traffic in front of the Canadian embassy in Washington. The three PETA members were arrested for impersonating semi-aquatic marine mammals and for failure to balance a ball on their noses. When reached for comment the three protesters responded “Arf arf arf!”
September 15, 2009
Bring me my Fedora, Bull Whip, and my Adult diaper.
Reportedly Harrison Ford is up for a 5th installment of the Indiana Jones series. The 67-year-old actor says the film is dependent on the script which is currently being written by George Lucas.
Spoilers follow!
My sources are already reporting some of the highlights of the story including an exciting chase through the jungle on Rascal Scooters.
Fans will be happy to see the return of Indy's former partner, Short Round. Or at least a computer generated character that is the son/clone of his famous father.
Shia LaBeouf will reprise his role from Indy 4 as the kid from Transformers who isn't relevant to the plot.
Not returning this time is Karen Allen as Marion Ravenwood who was already obligated to work on the Animal House prequel with Hayden Christensen as a young Dean Wormer.
This time around Indy will be on a quest to find his Lost Dignity. Unlike the earlier films in the series Indy ultimately fails the mission.
It is unknown when filming on Indy 5 will begin as Harrison Ford cited other projects such as destroying our fond memories of Blade Runner and Witness.
Spoilers follow!
My sources are already reporting some of the highlights of the story including an exciting chase through the jungle on Rascal Scooters.
Fans will be happy to see the return of Indy's former partner, Short Round. Or at least a computer generated character that is the son/clone of his famous father.
Shia LaBeouf will reprise his role from Indy 4 as the kid from Transformers who isn't relevant to the plot.
Not returning this time is Karen Allen as Marion Ravenwood who was already obligated to work on the Animal House prequel with Hayden Christensen as a young Dean Wormer.
This time around Indy will be on a quest to find his Lost Dignity. Unlike the earlier films in the series Indy ultimately fails the mission.
It is unknown when filming on Indy 5 will begin as Harrison Ford cited other projects such as destroying our fond memories of Blade Runner and Witness.
September 10, 2009
Free Association
After a brief hiatus a mid-week attempt to connect the dots of recent top stories...
Kim Jong-Il
Korea
MASH
Mashed potatoes
Turkey
Thanksgiving Day
NFL Football
Brett Favre
Injured Bicep
Tennis Elbow
US Open
Flushing Meadows
Kim Jong-Il
Korea
MASH
Mashed potatoes
Turkey
Thanksgiving Day
NFL Football
Brett Favre
Injured Bicep
Tennis Elbow
US Open
Flushing Meadows
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